for some.
Ok, everyday I wake up and get my coffee- and I get in the shower. I wash my hair. And for the past few weeks, as I'm scrubbing my Loreal-like (CVS) brand shampoo into my skull, I have the following inner dialogue:
"You are NOT going to be a Negative Nancy today. You are going to suck it up, leave it at work, walk out the door and appreciate all the things you have."
You know, the Pollyanna talk. I try to do this to deter myself from heading down into the winter abyss of Seasonal Affectiveness Disorder that typically shows up around October- when at any given moment, (when the temperature is under 60 degrees) one to four of my fingers on either hand will become completely numb. It's too cold, my body's decided- and my circulation is bad enough to make my fingers numb. It's weird. I hate it. I've been wanting to move to the carolinas since, oh, 1998 and every October it gets worse.
The past year or so in my new profession of librarianship (I love that word) I've sucked it up (the SAD) and it's been ok. The past month or so has not. Things are getting icky everywhere. People are crabby at work- patrons and staff. Most of the people I work with are working second part time jobs on top of their full time jobs. And we have Masters' Degrees....which is part of the reason we need the part time jobs...to pay off the Masters' degree.
I feel like someone sold me something that broke or the warranty ran out or something. There are so many things I love about what I chose to do-- after moving from advertising/marketing to this field....I absolutely love what I'm doing in comparison.
But I'm starting to get jaded. And I think it's a combination of weather, being perpetually broke, and not really seeing any light at the end of the tunnel.
The worst part is knowing that negativity is insidious, and I don't want to be that person, spreading evil thoughts into the minds and morales of others. But it's hard when you get one day off a week. And you don't have money for shoes to replace the ones you have holes in.
The economy is completely screwed, and I'm better off than a lot of people (see, look at this pollyanna-ing!) but I still find myself wondering when things will change- or if they will continue to change for the worst..
A library in Ohio has just laid off 8 people and announced how they're limiting services, hours, and additional staff in mid-December. A friend of mine works there and I can't imagine what that has to be like. I don't want to imagine it because it scares the crap out of me.
Additionally I'm bombarded with emails from American Libraries and Library Journal telling me about more closings, layoffs, etc. and it's downright depressing.
Sandwich all of those thoughts around 8 hours of printing instructions and directional questions ("The bathroom is by the yellow wall, sir"). Add in a few hours at an archives where no one has touched anything in 4 years. And by the end of the day I am completely. utterly. fried.
So the moral of the story? I'm alright- I'm getting through with my Pollyanna-ing and attempting to look ahead at the future and hope for all sorts of change (seriously though- even some spare quarters would be cool)...but right now I have a really. Really. REALLY bad feeling.
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3 comments:
A good pro-library argument for any library director to bring up at a City Council meeting these days is that without libraries many of the people who are looking for work will never find work and will only perpetuate our downward economic spiral. Since you can't get a job as a grocery store bagger today without filling out an online application closing libraries is egregiously short-sighted and a sure fire way to destroy what little is left of the economy.
During recessions it's library boom time! Library use increases because people need to use our free Inernet access to find employment... I can't think of any better way to serve the public than that. During a recession libraries are ESSENTIAL services, and the deeper the recession goes the more essential libraries become.
I totally agree with you! And I don't even know if this "economic crisis" is going to have any effect on the library system I work in, or not. But I feel terrible for the people in Newark: http://www.newarkadvocate.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2008811080349
Hello Mandy! Sadly, it's going to get worse. Ugly. The GNP will shrink again during the last quarter of the year and this will officially mark a recession. All analysts see the same happening during Q1 of 2009 as well. This would mark the first time since WWII that the economy shrank for three consecutive quarters. By Summertime it's going to be very ugly indeed... Hang in there.
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