Hump Day

Well, I've made it through half of the week at the new library. I am spent. Monday I was all pumped up on adrenaline and couldn't even fall asleep until 1am after work. Tuesday I started to get overwhelmed with all the directions in which a person could START working in my job, then I created a plan. Wednesday (today) I began working on the plan, and upon walking through the door of our house- wanted to just lay down and stare at the walls.

This is not an option for someone with a baby, so first I fed the baby, played with said baby, bathed baby, fed baby a bottle, and then put him in bed against his will, and THEN I laid down on my couch, stared at the wall where my London photos hang, and listened to him whine for about 30 minutes before passing out. Not quite what a person would call relaxing, since I was staring at the pictures thinking of them, of that time, and not the present- where you can't walk in my house without stepping on something, the laundry needs done, the dishes need done, the groceries need bought, the old food thrown out, and the work week is only halfway over and I'm thinking, "Oh. my. god." because it doesn't feel like any of it will get done and I'm so mentally exhausted I could fall over.

So I started trying to think of what was bringing on the fatigue, aside from just the normal "wednesday crash" of a work week and adjusting to a new workplace, job, etc.

Aside from one person at my job, nobody knows me personally. So there's no real chit chat. I'm still gauging my co-workers and trying to figure out where I'll be on the social totem pole, who hangs out with who, what cliques there are, and I haven't had much time (nor really put forth any effort) to do any of that. Anyways. I miss my people at the old job. They all were with me through the tough personal stuff. I could tell them if something in my personal life was ticking me off. They all asked about my baby and genuinely cared and asked to see new pictures.

I can't expect people to be all that interested in my personal life at this point in the ball game. I just started, and it took me four years to develop the relationships that I did at the old library. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm a pretty social being, and I like the collaboration of connecting with people and ideas and right now I'm feeling a little isolated. I knew that would happen- and I'm fine with it for now. I just hope that down the road, I can create some lasting friendships with the people I now work with...

and I need to be sure to stay in touch with those I used to work with.

On the upside- I withdrew roundabout 50 books today, many of them older than me, and that was quite cathartic. The plan is in action, and that makes me feel good.